Life isn't always (ever?) fair. I know this, I live it. Sometimes, I still have to bitch about it. If you can't handle a little bitching, please come back another day. If you can handle the bitching, please don't attempt to give me "pat on the back" comments afterwards. I really don't need that at all, so if you could all just skip the "hang in there" speeches, it'd be much appreciated.
That being said, I am SO FUCKING JEALOUS. There are a few friends of mine whose deployments started AFTER ours and are now ending. Like within the month. I know, I know, shoulda been a Marine wife... but that Army boy was just so dang charming. And the sex... well... anyway... Back to my rant?
How seriously twisted is it that these wives are getting ready for homecoming AND they just got R&R AND it's only been 8 months? I just hate it. I mean, I'm happy for them and all, I do emphasize that they are my friends but it just pisses me off that we still have another 4-5 months until we MIGHT be able to hope for homecoming. I don't even know if my husband will be home in 2009. *deleted: rant about how I've been doing this longer than 99.9% of the wives in our unit* I'm so sick and tired of dealing with all of this. I just want him home. I don't want to do this alone anymore, I don't feel like my strength will hold out much longer. I was hanging by a frayed thread before R&R, and now I'm a little better after seeing him, but really, let's face it, I'm not myself without my husband. Not that I lost myself in being with him, more that I found the rest of me that I didn't know I was missing, and now it's gone again.
I just don't feel like I can handle another lonely night, another endless day to get through without his smiling face peeking around the corner and saying, "Hello my family!" And it is KILLING ME to watch all these wives get ready for homecoming. I feel like we deserve it just as much, but we won't be getting it any time soon. I'm almost to the point of wanting to make nasty comments to these girls... but I don't WANT to do that, it's just the evil part of me that wants to rain on their parade cause I'm sitting here all miserable. Isn't that the definition of a bully? Ugh. Compassion fail.
I miss you, husband of mine, and nothing is going to fix that or fill the void in our house that you left until you're home again.
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I won't pat you on the back or tell you to hang in there... I'll only say this: I feel ya. This sucks and there is no way around it, no way to make it better (other than them coming home), and you are right... Army deployments suck hairy balls.
ReplyDeleteyou have a right to get mad. i did the exact same thing when i saw people who left after Matt come home way before him and when i think about how short marine deployments are it just made me even more mad/jealous/well just angry. nothing will make it better but just know you are not alone in feeling this way!
ReplyDeleteWell, fuck them bitches. Hate on, my friend :)
ReplyDeleteHaha I love the comments above.. I'm not sure what to say.. It plain stinking sucks.
ReplyDeleteLOL...I love how Marine wives think the Marines are so hardcore. Righhhttt....
ReplyDeletewell I can't speak for the actual Marines themselves. but I do want to laugh a little when a wife bitches about a LONG LONG 7 MONTH DEPLOYMENT... I'm like uh... suck a nut. try 12-15 on for size then come see me. I'll buy you a shot for that. but 7 months I did with my eyes closed. well mostly anyway.
ReplyDeleteNo pat on the back here. I just wanted to tell you that you're in my thoughts and prayers more then you know and I think your feelings are totally justified.
ReplyDeleteNot to start drama but we're all in this together. Some of the comments just seem uncalled for. My husband spent 10 years in the Marines and his last deployment was 30 months long. Yep, 30. So before you want to lump every Marine or Marine wife into some group maybe you should stop and think for a second. Sure we would ALL choose 4 months, or 6 months etc. over 12, 15, whatever. But we can't. SO what good does it do to belittle an entire group of people? Time apart sucks. Period.
Our husbands serve the same purpose and we ALL support them. Last I checked it wasn't a competition. Anyway, I'll go back to my corner now where apparently I think we're so "hard core."