Note to Self (and World)

I will never understand why women, myself included, are SO overly critical of their bodies. We pluck and preen and suck in and pinch and complain to our husbands, moms, girlfriends, about the things we hate about our bodies and the things we wish we could change. We all do it, but it somehow intensifies after we've had kids, or while we're in the process of growing a person.
Let's take a moment to reflect on that for a moment. WE GROW PEOPLE. INSIDE OF OUR BODIES. Who in their right mind could expect everything to go perfectly back to it's previous shape and position and elasticity after what we've put it through (especially for moms who've done it more than once!)?

As a 21 year old mother of one, with a history of an eating disorder (with multiple relapses), my love affair with my body is, shall we say, sorely lacking. I will be the first to complain about my saggy postpartum breasts, the stupid "paw print" stretch mark above my belly button that makes it dip in the middle, the c section scar that's wider on one side and goes up higher as if to smirk at me, and my wider-than-before hips. For years, I've listened to the women in my life complain about love handles, cellulite, stretch marks, saggy this and baggy that. And really, who knows why? Is it because someone, somewhere said, "You have to be perfect, which means whatever we say it is, and ultimately, whatever you're not!"

Well, I'm feeling just bitchy enough tonight to be sick and fucking tired of letting someone else define how I feel about myself. And I'm sick of my GORGEOUS friends feeling that way too. I may add a side note, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT. But that's a rant for another day.

So, I have to ask, what if my boobs aren't perfect? They are the way they are because I carried and nourished a child with them. Trust me, when it comes down to it, my husband doesn't give half a damn (even though they still insist on being LEAKY, 9 months post partum and 8 post breast feeding!). So what if my belly button looks a little like it's been turned inside out? IT HAS. So what if my c-section scar looks odd to me? SO FREAKING WHAT? A 7 pound 15 ounce child came out of there! At what point do we start to love our bodies for what they are, and appreciate them for the "flaws" that we've earned by bringing lovely, wonderful, amazing children into this world? Why do we allow the women in our lives to hate on themselves, and why do we spend so much time feeling awful ourselves over things we should honestly celebrate?

I'll stand up now and say that I don't do this. But I should! There's no excuse. I love my child, and I would go back in time and carry him to term all over again (and I would, but please don't make me!), even if I knew then what I know how, and knew exactly what pregnancy would do to my body, then why do I continually hate on myself? Why do I pick on myself for things that I can't help? I wish that I, and you, and everyone, could just spread a few warm fuzzies around and give yourself a pat on the back.

So we're going to do just that. Ready? Do it with me. "Self, you ROCK! You carried and gave birth to an amazing child (or more than one), with all 10 fingers and toes and a great big smile! You defied the laws of physics at times (who knew vomit could come out of you with that much force?), stretched your body to it's limits, then continued doing so for 10-15 more weeks! You are AMAZING! So, if you don't look like you did before, that's okay. Because guess what self? You took your body to the edge and back! And you're still a gorgeous, wonderful woman. You are just as beautiful with your scars and stretch marks and saggy whatever and unshaved legs and booger covered t-shirt as you are all dolled up and not sleep deprived! Because, guess what, strong self, you are a mom! And that is the hardest, most wonderful thing any person can ever be!" Now pat yourself on the back. Go on, do it, no one's watching. And give yourself a mental hug. Okay, okay, mushy shit over with.

But seriously. Why can't we encourage ourselves like we encourage our girlfriends when they get a bad haircut? "You can just wear it in a ponytail! It's not that bad!" Well, so, some of us could take that advice for our boobs, but whatever! Laugh about it. Put on a push up bra and rock that mommy body! Look at your kid(s) and realize what a hell of a thing you did! And be proud! So when some snotty ass little high school girl laughs behind her hand at you in a movie theatre bathroom on your first babyless outing post partum, don't get upset, cause guess what! Chances are, she'll be a mom someday too. And if karma is worth anything, she'll have saggy leaky boobs too!